I LOVE CABLE TV!!!
I do, I do.
I spent the evening babysitting Jen's evil lizard-killing cats, drinking her beer, eating her perishables, and keeping her Time Warner connection warm while she gallivants around in Boston.
Unfortunately, my reality tv choices tonight were limited to Blow Off (bad), Kevin and Britney (worse), or--the winner--a combination of "Whose Wedding is it Anyway" (Style) and "Bridezilla" (WE).
I am not making this up.
Conclusion: ELOPING. I, for one, do not want to shell out 50 grand to a high strung woman with big bangs who will boss around my friends and family, fuss over individual wedding cupcakes, and take it upon herself to adjust my décolleté.
(Who am I kidding... I totally want all that. Mom and dad, start saving.)
A piece of advice and a warning:
ReplyDeleteA certain friend of mine who you went to college with (We'll call him Mr. Martin) recently got married to a lovely French woman. They eloped because Salima forgot to renew her student visa, but later had a traditional wedding as well to, "Do it right." This seems to me to be the way to go. High strung women with big bangs can put a lot of stress on the bride and groom, but less so if the couple is already married. Then if you call off the wedding, it is a statement of defiant independence from the tyrannical yoke of familial, friendilial, and Bridezillial oppression.
Next, a warning. If you make the parents pay for the wedding, you give over the power of the guest list. Mr. Martin's wedding had something like 200 guests, and when the parents were done inviting their friends, there were about 18 spots left for the bride and groom to actually invite people. The unlucky couple, saddled with a mere 18 invitations, have had to spend a great deal of time apologizing to various friends (like yours truly) for being unable to invite them to the wedding. Who cares about individual wedding cupcakes if you don't care about the people eating them.
But then, maybe Mom and Dad's friends can afford cooler wedding gifts than ours can. That would be okay I guess.
The Boy
PS - Speaking of weddings, talk to me about your upcoming visit.
I love it when you drop by.
ReplyDeleteOh man, Mr. Martin got married? The pool keeps getting smaller.
Don't worry bro, I was only kidding. You'll be invited to my wedding, you know, if we can squeeze you in. The big band lady was a joke--an attempt at being funny--you don't get to be the only funny one in the family! I can be funny, too, dammit! (Nevermind, I'll save it for the shrink.)
I think that's pretty funny that you're talking about your mom and dad shelling out 50k for a wedding and you are worried about being funny. I think that's funny as all get out, in fact. Sorry, but it is going to take me a while to stop laughing.
ReplyDelete:-)
~Dad
No love in this family. (Item #2 for shrink)
ReplyDeleteI've always wanted a small wedding. Just saying.
ReplyDelete-lobster
I like this lobster boy.
ReplyDeleteMom