The Elephant in the Room

No one is reading this blog anymore, and I guess that is ok.

So yesterday Jason read me this folk tale from Children of Wax: African Folk Tales

"Do you want to hear the introduction to a Tom Robbins novel, or the Pumpkin story?" he asked.

You already know how we feel about Tom Robbins.

So I picked the pumpkin story.

To paraphrase: Elephants move into a family's community, they start eating all the pumpkins, the sole source of food and nutrition, the family determines they must move, do something, or starve. But they can't fend off the elephants in a normal fashion because they are huge and very strong.

So the oldest boy gets a brilliant idea: let's hollow out the biggest pumpkin we can find, cover the youngest boy in fat and squeeze him instead, lure an elephant into EATING the pumpkin, boy stabs elephant's heart from inside the body, all the other elephants witness this and freak out and leave.

Turns out the youngest boy is not so much invested in this plan. But, since all his brothers think it is a great idea, youngest boy is talked into going along it. The winning line? All the other boys say, "There is nothing that can go wrong with this plan."

And, not to be a plot spoiler, but it works. Youngest boy hangs out in the pumpkin until he is eaten, cuts his way out of the pumpkin and kills the elephant, cuts his way out of the elephant and his family cleans him up and celebrates his success, elephants freak out and go away, and all is well with the world again.

There is nothing that can go wrong with this plan!

I can't find this story anywhere else on the internet. Aren't you glad you're still reading my blog?

My Flash-Sideways Life

From a misdirected email:

"Hope everything is going well so far! Just to confirm, you will be receiving one more trunk today at 9am. It will be delivered to set and contains the fine jewelry, a Donna Karan dress, some fur pieces, and accessories."

DUDE I wish they would misdirect that trunk to my actual address. Though I am not sure what I'd do with the fur pieces. It's starting to get steamy in HTX.

Showtunes that get stuck in my head

Beautiful, Sunday in the Park with George

Defying Gravity, Wicked (thanks for nothing, Glee)

For Good, Wicked (thanks for nothing, Showtunes documentary)

In the Weeds

I don't understand why no one wants to go on vacation with me.

I am fun. And I travel light.

April Fools Day

Spiders are NOT funny.