One Day, Dear,

Someone is going to ask me when I knew we were meant to be together. And I am going to have to tell them about walking up to this scene and how you said, "Look! Kids in cages!"



Yes, I am definitely going to share that story with our children right before they put you in a home.

Attn: Zoo zoo

Get a job.

All You Really Have to Do Here is Not Fug Up.

John McCain,

I heard part of your speech on NPR today, and even though my entire political paradigm revolves around "The West Wing" I have always maintained that you are a stand up sort of guy. Maybe even a little Alan Alda-esque, and he wasn't so bad as the middle-of-the-road Republican.

When I was in Philadelphia and they called Texas for Hillary, for one little moment I thought "I am voting for McCain." But I didn't say anything. And then my pal turned to me and said "I am voting for McCain" and I was like I KNOW, RIGHT? (And then my boyfriend yelled at me.)

So today when you said:

"There must be no forgotten places in America, whether they have been ignored for long years by the sins of indifference and injustice, or have been left behind as the world grew smaller and more economically interdependent. In America, we have always believed that if the day was a disappointment, we would win tomorrow. That's what John Lewis believed when he marched across this bridge. That's what he still believes; what he still fights to achieve: a better country than the one he inherited."

I was totally on that bridge with you. Well, your speechwriter.

And then you said:

"Hope in America is not based in delusion, but in the faith that everything is possible in America. The time for pandering and false promises is over. It is time for action. It is time for change; the right kind of change; change that trusts in the strength of free people and free markets; change that doesn't return to policies that empower government to make our choices for us, but that works to ensure we have choices to make for ourselves. "

And then came the walk of shame back to the shore.

It's not that I don't like you; I just can't vote for a Republican. Any Republican, apparantly. Even if it appears that I agree with you on education; even if you and that Democrat I don't want to vote for keep calling my man "delusional."

P.S. Thanks for the shout-out.

The Largest Cities in the World

List by group consensus, after several plates full of meat and two bottles of wine at Fogo de Chao:

1. Toyko
2. Mexico City
3. Denton, TX
4. Argentina
5. Tomball, TX
6. New York

What We Talk About When We Talk to Strangers in the Elevator

The Weather
-How it's really starting to come down (the rain)
-Hot enough for ya?
-How humid it is
-How nice it is that the sun's still out at 6pm

The Elevator
-How it makes us nervous when it makes those noises
-How we know this person who got stuck/almost got stuck

The Day of the Week
-How close it is to Friday
-How at least it's Friday
-Mondays, boy I don't know

Those Bradford Kids
-How annoying it is when people ride the elevator from the lobby to the basement
-How they are always getting on in packs

SKIN CONDITIONS
-"Oh, so I think this rash on my neck is poison oak."

Mind Games

Here is the progression of my mindset this weekend:

Wednesday: Anxious
Thursday: Accomplished
Friday: IDENTITY QUAKE
Saturday - Sunday: 24-hour board game induced euphoria
Sunday: Totally jammin' to Randy Jackson's pop music top hits p.s. when did Linkin Park completely change their sound?

Again, I brought home as a souvenir a game called "It Was A Dark and Stormy Night" that is completely unplayable (trivia game based on first lines of famous novels, many obscure) but every now and then I can pull out a card and say "ahhh yes! Edith Wharton's Age of Innocence!" and feel ridiculously literate.

If you are in the market for a new party game, I recommend:
Zombie Fluxx
Aunt Millie's Millions
Eye Know
GiftTRAP
What's Yours Like?
Be-Rhymed
Man Laws & Woman Rules

If you would prefer a smart word game, I recommend:
AmuseAmaze
Jumbulaya
Orijinz

If your mom is a huge Sudoku fan, get her:
Spectrum Challenge
Black Box (logic puzzles)
Think Outside the Box
Pixel
Set Cubed (You know how much she loves Set the card game)

If you are a teacher, make your school fork over the money for these enrichment games:
Camp Board Game (nature/ecology)
Eye Know (general trivia)
It Was A Dark and Stormy Night (reading/writing teachers -- make your own cards! from books in your classroom library)
Mind Trap Geometrical Riddles Genius Level (math)
Reaction (chemistry)
StoryTellers (writing)
Think Outside the Box (problem solving)
Top This! (geometry) <--bonus! invented by 2 middle school students in Japan

Here are some games other people seemed to like, but I didn't get a chance to play:
Art of War
Senet: The Ancient Tomb Treasure Game
Tiki Topple

I couldn't find links to all of these.
Here's a list of last year's games.
I imagine this year's game will be up soon.
If you need instant game gratification, try here.

Over and out.

Identity Quake

I dunno, man.

It's like -- Monday you're feeling rested and rejuvenated and you have a brand new action plan and things are calendared and when the guy at Jimmy John's asks you how things are you tell him that today is a good day, because you heard that once on NPR and thought it sounded great. Sure, today is a good day. They're numbered, aren't they, and comparatively this one is a'ok.

And by the middle of the week you've discovered online pictionary and you're kicking some serious internet butt, and things are ok maybe not going exactly how you planned but it's all under control.

And then the next thing you know it's like bam, bam, bam -- and you're a terrible employee and you've forgotten how to talk on the phone and you can't even get the neighbor's dog to pee when it is time to go out. And you turn to online pictionary to boost your confidence but it doesn't work -- you have to pass on "shrimp" -- when anyone can draw a shrimp, right? God. It's like, so simple. And you're thinking, "Today is a good day!! Please?" and wondering why you can't seem to have a normal conversation with your boyfriend before bed.

And meanwhile, the laundry's piling up and the cat box is full and there's a container of burnt popcorn in the trash even though you bought asparagus on Sunday, and ever since you turned 22 you really looove asparagus.

So, I dunno. I've forgotten what shrimps look like. But I feel like tomorrow is going to be a good day.