Happily ever after
So... three bears walk into a bar...
They spot a well-rounded, delicious-looking woman wearing a suit and holding a resume.
The Papa Bear approaches and bites a huge chunk out of her shoulder. "Blleeeuuurrgghh!" He says. "This candidate is TOO INEXPERIENCED!"
And the Mama Bear approaches and takes a big bite out of her torso and exclaims, "Pffffeeewwwkkk! This candidate is NOT GAY ENOUGH!"
And the Uncle Bear (I lied--there are four bears) suddenly gets a call on his cell phone and steps outside to answer it and never returns.
And the Baby Bear (what is a baby bear doing in a bar, you ask? He's 21 in bear years, ok?) has not yet grown his carnivorous fangs, but he licks her cheek something sloppy and says "Mmmmm! This candidate is JUST RIGHT!"
The moral of the story is that patience, luck, and networking pay off, and our heroine will soon be working full-time for a certain acronym we all know and love.
I'm so excited, I'm speaking in mixed metaphors!
When I first started to read this I thought it was going to be a dating joke. Anyway, congrats on the new job.
ReplyDelete-lobster
have you said yes to baby bear yet? Maybe you should call uncle bear to see if he's willing to make things intertesting...
ReplyDeleteThe last time I tried a dating joke, I got called fat and smelly. Which is, whatever, fine, but now you don't get to hear about it via internet. Rules and consequences, folks!
ReplyDeleteIs no one else concerned that these bears are talking? And forget how old they are, who is letting a pack of aggressive, violent bears into an establishment that sells alcohol. And come to think of it, where the hell did the uncle bear get a cell phone?
ReplyDeleteA disturbing story indeed.
Oh, no, I wasn't surprised at all that the bears were talking. This blog is home to many talking talking animals, including, but not limited to, lobsters, bears, Maryland blue crabs, Lana-grasshoppers and (a recent development) Lana-bears.
ReplyDelete-lobster
WOO!! THAT'S SO AWESOME THAT YOU'RE GOING TO BE WORKING FOR NAMBLA!!!
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