Dog Walking; Cat Boxing

I have some houseguests for the summer, and one needs to be taken outside to poo.

Can I just say... I really like the boy, and I really like the dog. Of all the dogs I could possibly live with, I would want to live with this dog. Unless there exists a dog that is actually a cat--that is the dog I would rather live with.

I am really bad at the dog walking. The walking part is fine, right. I have been walking for more than 25 years. It's the other part: the "taking care of business" in front of all the freaking people in my neighborhood who just HAPPEN to pull into their driveways whenever I am walking Siam across their yard, and she's like "THIS is a good place to poo!!" and the people are glaring at me and I'm waving my plastic bag around to indicate that I fully intend to curb my dog and it is very embarrassing and sometimes I want to die.

And then sometimes while I am doing the curbing thing (which, btw, is gross) the jackasses across the street will yell comments out at me like "is that a DEER or a DOG? HAHAHAAHA" and I'm wondering if it is possible to maybe purchase a backyard without the house attached because this urban dog owner thing BLOWS.

Anyway.

If any people ever try to convince you that dog walking is preferable to cat boxing because of "that awful ammonia smell," they are probably not curbing their dog and you should kick them.

People Who Work in Glass Offices...

You know how in thunderstorm warnings people are advised to "avoid windows"?

My entire office is windows! The WALLS are windows! The ceilings are windows! Where is a girl supposed to cower?

I Need Storage Containers for my Storage Containers

Also, to get over the teacherly instinct to "HOARD MILK CRATES." Seriously. No one needs this many milk crates.

All New Acronyms

My last days at [Acronym] have arrived; my office is cleared, my little wind-up spider is packed.

(The little wind-up spider functions as a stress-o-meter. On stress-free days, a person can wind it up and let it flail all crazylike over my desk and it is entertaining. On high tension days, given the same scenario, I will smack the spider into oblivion or at least desire to.)

It's been three years at Acronym, but wait--let's add two more in the classroom, and one more in the classroom for kicks, and then a lifetime of commitment to education that is intensified every time I hear some bozo say: "Yeah but they only stay for two years." The six years probably don't matter so much as the fact that Acronym plucked me out of college life and into my first "professional" job, and then my second, and four title changes later it feels a lot like family.

And now there are new acronyms to learn, and this new product to sell. Not a replacement to the first, but an "in addition to." Kind of like the Amazon and iTunes version of "people who bought x also bought y."

I really like Y. They like me a whole lot. I start Tuesday. I hope you're ready, spidey.

Draft, draft, draft, draft, draft

I guess I am my own worst editor. Or best.

I don't really feel like sharing anything with you all.

why don't you call me instead?