On Dealing with Stress and Logistics and Emotional Situations

 me:  I am going to be a crying mess at this wedding and I don't know either of the people being wed

I'm just going to cry like the whole time and your family is gonna be like, "Josh: wtf?"

"Did you tell her she can't have any cake? What's wrong with Mary?"

ps do NOT tell me I can't have any cake because in addition to crying the whole time I am going to eat everyone's cake

 Josh:  you get all of my cakes

(Like this but the other way around)

Home Showmanship

My house went on the market for rent today, and almost immediately I got three requests for showings. How this works: I get a text message asking if it can be available on a specific day and hour block (meaning: can it be clean and you be gone?). Today, one of those hour blocks was 15 minutes from when I got the text. I can always say no, but here are some helpful tips that make it easier to say Yes:

1. I made three large index card "to-do" lists that live near the door: 1) At Home; 2) Out and About; 3) At Computer. When I'm home, I focus on the first list and doing whatever I can to make the house look welcoming for a potential renter (packing, cleaning, improvements). When I come across errands I need to run or things to buy, I add it to the second list. When I think of things I need to do at the computer (apply for jobs, update resume, network, blog about moving) I add it to the third.

2. When I get that last-minute text, or when I know I need to be out, I grab the second and third lists and take them with me. Usually I can knock out a few errands in an hour, and if I have extra time I can set up with my laptop at the coffee shop around the corner and work on computer stuff.

3. I'm planning on adding two additional lists: 4) Before Leaving Home. This will be a quick checklist to make sure that the house is in tip-top showing condition before I leave: clean catbox, empty sink, clear clutter, admonish cats to "be good," turn on AC, etc. With only 15 minutes notice, it's easier for me to just run through a pre-written list than try to think of things off the top of my head and worry about what I'm missing. I also have to keep the house pretty clean ALL THE TIME which is a good exercise that everyone should experience, if you're not already living it.

4. And for the last list: 5) Places to Go. The coffee shop is easy, but I could also spend an unplanned hour at the Menil, or the Contemporary Arts Museum, or go for a run (requires some prep), and feel like it was an hour well spent.

I'm generally keeping my laptop by the back door and a bag big enough to carry it, so I can just load and go. I am also going to have to make sure to shower and get dressed early so that I don't look like a crazy person when I'm out running errands.

And, it's not lost on me that were I still working this week, it would be a lot more difficult to get up and go, making this a mixed blessing.

On Unemployment

Tomorrow is my first day of unemployment, after being downsized from my job two weeks before a cross-country move. The decision was one of those tough calls all non-profit organizations are forced to make as they evolve and face uncertain funds. "It sucks," was my abbreviated reply, "but I understand."

I have great hopes and confidence about the future of the organization where I worked for the last six months, and I feel the same way about my future in a new city with a happy, newly employed partner who conveniently now has the opportunity to support our relationship the way I did while he was searching for his dream job.

And, since we have already signed a lease (thankfully on the less expensive apartment and not on the more expensive "renovated mansion"--my Achilles' heel) and plan to stay in Seattle for awhile, it's actually the perfect opportunity to find a new job where I can do what I love.

So, I don't think you should feel sorry for me.

That said, let's talk about unemployment.

I realized with some shock and gratitude tonight that I have never been unemployed before. I worked in high school, and went straight to college afterwards. I got a job halfway through my senior year of college and moved to Houston immediately after graduation to begin training for what would turn into three years of teaching. Since then, I've worked for three different organizations consecutively, never stopping for a breather or to go back to grad school. It turns out, that if you get a little experience raising money for a non-profit, everyone wants to hire you. My rationale: Why would I stop actively earning income... as long as I'm learning and happy where I'm at?

So, I went from job to job to job, back to job, to job to here.

And even now, the unemployment does not feel freeing like I thought it might, but rather scripted out: my job for the next two weeks is to pack, clean my house, rent my house, apply for jobs, drive across the country, arrive in Seattle, interview, start working?

Perhaps it will take a little longer than that. My search last year took nine months, though I'm convinced it was extended due to not living in the same state where I was trying to find a job. And, that could be ok.

Buuuut whaaaat ifffff instead of rushing immediately into the same type of job I've been doing, I tried to do something completely different? What would that even look like? Would the search bring me happiness?

There's more to say. About dealing with sudden bad news as a person prone to addiction (spoiler alert: I started smoking, stopped, started again, saw a God lizard, stopped), about facing an immediate future with no health insurance and how we came really close to the most unromantic proposal/not proposal over the telephone, about the decision whether to apply for unemployment in TX while moving to Seattle and is that even possible?? (spoiler alert: probably, and yes) About all the things I'm going to miss about Houston and all the things I'm looking forward to in the Pacific Northwest. About renting a house through a property management company. About driving across the country in a Hyundai hatchback with three cats.

And, lucky for me, maybe lucky for you, it looks like I'll have some time to say it.