hi-lar-i-ous

"We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and [explitive] Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those [explitive] stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for [explitive] blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their [explitive] Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier."

(Completely biased and not suitable for children.)