Dear former landlord,

EAT SH*T.

"The Apartment still has cat smell, paint color not match and Oven,Frig not quite clean."

I shampooed the carpets. I vacuumed, and wiped down everything with comet and bleach. Yes, I had a cat, for which I paid you $250. What exactly would you like me to do next, spray down the place with patchouli oil?

If you had let me leave my awesome personalized colored walls, it wouldn't be two different shades of white (because you didn't tell me what color to use, now did you?). But no! You come from a land of white walls and beige carpet. Good luck finding another (boring) tenant to take over. I bet you the first thing they do is to paint the walls.

Your oven sucks and so does your fridge. Plus you totally tore up my bathroom twice. Give me back my $400. That is all.

-Former tenant of apartment #7