you know you're eating in texas when...

...the school-sponsored teacher lunch consists of an enourmous baked potato blanketed in beef

Also, here are some secret tips from my students on how to do well on the TAKS:

-sharpen your pencil until it resembles a lance and can pierce through skin (not sure if your pencil fits this description? test it out on someone sitting next to you). the trick is to get it sharp enough so that the least bit of pressure will cause it to break, thus enabling you to go through the ever amusing skin-piercing test again... and again... and again...

-when given a highlighter, highlight EVERYTHING in your test book. it's prettier and easier to understand when it's day-go yellow

-the test says you can "take all the time you need" which means that if you need all the time, they probably won't make you go to class. good ways to drag out the test as long as possible include: sleeping, gazing off into nothingness, doodling in the test book, and putting your pencils together like a windmill and spinning them around.

The last one is a little insulting because I am pretty sure that my class is more interesting than this test... but I could be wrong. (I've been wrong before.)