Voyage Along the Whatever

From Voyage Along the Horizon; an interview with the author:
"What would you tell readers who don't know what to make of the ending?"

JM: "That the end of a novel isn't usually very important. In fact, people never seem to remember the endings of novels... conclusions and final explanations are often the most irrelevent--and disapointing--parts of a novel. What counts the most--and what we remember the most--is the atmosphere, the style, the path, the journey, and the world in which we have immersed ourselves for a few hours or days."

FUCK YOU, JAVIER MARIAS.

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO THAT DUDE IN SCOTLAND? AND HOW IS THE WOMAN RELATED TO THE SHIP? I MUST KNOW!!!

I get that you're making a literary statement, but DAMMIT!!!

Full Circle

1. On Thursday night, I received the list of people invited to join next year's "teefa" corps; of particular interest were the seven I interviewed who met the acceptance rubric. This is the first time that I've personally played a role in the inception of new corps members. I cursed selection the entire time I was doing it, but now I understand--it lends ownership to the product I sell everyday. These aren't just random corps members; they are MY corps members, and they are friggin' awesome.

2. On Friday evening we held a baby shower/going away party for Debi, who moves to a secret city in Tennessee this weekend with her husband and not-yet-birthed baby Olive. We all started crying as soon as Debi and Harley left the driveway, which led to a reminiscent "Who met who through whom?" conversation.

3. Later, in the car, R.J. asked if I was going to cry any more. "The thing is," I answered through tight throat, "I'm sad that Debi's leaving, but it's not just Debi. Last year when Lana and Andrea and Jen all left, I had just started a new job--I was busy, I had sh-t to do--I didn't have time to be sad or cry. Now I have time, and I'm sad about all of it."

4. The inner dialogue strikes back: And let's not try to portray ourselves as saints. Anytime we're sad because x person left, our emotions are wholly engrossed in self-pity as well. How could she leave me? I feel abandoned. He managed to leave here, and I have not been able to do, which means I must be a loser. I talk grad school, and she's actually doing it. I talk marriage and kids, and he's actually doing it. In short, in this light of leaving, our own accomplishments and worth seem irrationally pale and indistinguishable.

5. Q: When is it hard to keep in touch with those who have left/you have left?
A: When you're not sure they'd approve of your life in their absence.

One day, all children in this nation will have the opportunity to work a minimum wage job?

Houston News 11 just reported that students at Lee High School (where a number of my favorite people teach/taught) demonstrated today as part of a city-wide protest against the proposed immigration law.

You know the one I'm talking about.

I'm not going to go off on Bush because you've all heard it before--it's a stupid idea by a stupid man elected by a stupid "majority," but whatever. I'm not even going to go off on immigration policy in general because that, dear readers, is a far more complicated issue leading to a wide range of valid opinions.

(I'm not even sure where I fall on the "send them all back to Mexico" vs. "mi casa es su casa" continuum, although I have to say I'm not all that impressed with most English-only speakers.)

I do, however, have strong feelings about the signs being displayed by the students of Lee High School. "We're not Terrorists; We're Workers!" one sign says. This alongside the arguments I've been hearing of, "Well, immigrants take jobs that no one else wants to do. You didn't get a college degree to clean toilets, after all."

True enough. I got a college degree because my teachers and parents and I and everyone expected me to go to college.

Are we honestly taking the mindset that Mexican immigrants can and should be granted citizenship in order to work our minimum wage paying labor jobs? Is that the best pro-immigration argument we can come up with? Lee High School students! You've been taught better than that! You are going to go to college and be writers and journalists and CEOs and small business owners. AMERICA SHOULD EXPECT IT OF YOU, or I should quit my job immediately.

We need scientists, technicians, and engineers, and we're turning out highly skilled jobs faster than my or your generation can fill them up (that includes the suburban kids, and you're already behind). You kids!--you Nike-wearing, pledge-saying, R.L.Stein-reading, Napoleon-Dynamite-watching, American immigrants and children of immigrants!--go back to class tomorrow and show these nimrods you mean business.

I mean GOSH.
#@$#@$!($*@(#*!@(#*!@(#$*!@.


Ok, done.

Narrowly-averted 15 minutes of fame

The Washington Post online just posted a not-terribly-in-depth look at the rise of teacher blogs (a subject I know a little bit about--why do you think this blog is "tippy top secret"?).

They link to First Year Teacher, who is actually a third year teacher in North Carolina. Something about the tone, title and location led me to think, "hmmmm..." and a quick trip to the archives confirmed her involvement with a certain acroynm we all know and love.

I'm a little bit jealous and ultimately relieved that mine wasn't singled out this way.

Not to mention that "Today in class..." generally begins a more interesting story than "Today I was writing this grant..."

Mary Converses with Utah

M: It's cold and I want to go home.
Mountains: Look at us! We're all snowcapped and majestic!
M: Stupid snooty mountains.
Apple Beer: Come on, you love us.
M: I do love you, apple beer. What's with all the Pepsi products, anyway?
Visitor Parking: I have placed impenetrable orange cones in all my spots. You cannot possibly park here. Go home, agnostic.
BYU: We saw you move that cone. You owe us $20 or else we will withhold your non-existent student records and/or impound your rental car. Please take this complementary pen to write us a check immediately.
M: Thanks! Could I take home some sacred underwear instead?
Utah: We don't think you're very funny.
M: Likewise.

Hell in a Handbasket

Scene: The counter of the Brigham Young University craft shop.

T: I just want to get these binder clips, please. ...Oh SHIT.
M: [eyes widen]
Cashier: [Cough]
T: I forgot my wallet. FUCK.
M: I'll get it. Just please don't say anything else.
T: What???

Defining Moments

The scene: *Fall Out Boy concert, crowded floor

Random Kid: Excuse us, nerd.
Mary: ...Did I just get called a nerd at a tween show?
Richard: Yes, baby.
Mary: That's awesome! I changed my mind--can I have those earplugs now?


*This is not an endorsement of above band.

Recommendations

In Books:
Smashed, Story of a Drunken Girlhood
The Year of Magical Thinking

There could be one more book here but McSweeney's won't answer my e-mails. Send me my damn book, already!!

In movies:
The Weatherman
Lord of War
(Wait, baby, what's going on with your netflicks? Is this a running Nicolas Cage theme or what?)
Four Rooms

In restaurants:
Latina Cafe on Fairview: banana tacos!
Pepino's Italian Restaurant: the booths are big and they don't care if you sit together on the same side
Ya Ya Mary's: for obvious reasons

In entertainment:
Sitting on the bridge over 45 and watching the cars whiz by
Sissyfight
Get on the guest list

In work:
Prioritize
Go to lunch with a friend
Your professional best interest is the success of your team; do what it takes, even when its not sexy

In life:
Be a person people want to be around
Get rid of negative influences
Spend more time with a dog

I'm not an addict, it's cool

You know you've been sucked into the development profession when the PBS pledge-a-thon comes on and not only do you NOT change the channel, you whip out a pad and start taking notes.

testing

Did you bring your number 2 pencil?

No?

For shame!

On a related note--try moving apartments and offices within a two month time-frame. It's enough to make anyone feel a little dislocated.

Whole Foods? Wholly Useless.

The scene: Mary, bewildered in a sea of homeopathic remedies.
Whole Foods Employee: "Can I help you find something?"
M: "I'm looking for the equivalent to ibuprofen."
WFE: "Umm... we don't really sell anything like that."
M: "How about a general pain med?"
WFE: "...no."
M: "Cramps?"
WFE: "Well... we sell flax seed oil."
M: "Nevermind."

A friend, indeed.

via phone...
M: Hey, where are you?
R: Walkin' the dog.
M: Ok. I'm at your apartment.
R: Well, I should be home in about 10 minutes.
M: It's cool--the door was open, so I came in and poured myself some coffee and got a snack and used your internet, and then it occured to me that I should call and make sure you weren't abducted.
R: That's great... could you maybe put some laundry in...?

What, exactly.

I have mixed feelings about the work of Mary Oliver. Sometimes it gets a little "be one with the Buddha" and I feel the same way I feel in yoga classes when they start "om"ing: Hey wait, we were stretching and it was all good, what's with this new age crap?, because obviously I don't know how to be idle; I'm useless if not occupied. Yet something in this poem has always resonated with me, especially around birthdays. So here goes.

from "The Summer Day"

...I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

Forever Young

A Public Service Announcement:

It is with profound regret that we must announce the cancellation of the celebration of Mary's birth, and the subsequent cessation of all aging and rituals thereafter. Please to return all gifts and congratulatory notices at earliest convenience.

All comments and inquiries may be addressed elsewhere.

-mgmt

Self-indulgent

In less than a week, I will be here:


Doing this:
1 Galveston, Texas 4:00 PM
2 At Sea
3 Costa Maya (Mahahual), Mexico 10:00 AM 7:00 PM
4 Belize City, Belize 8:00 AM 6:00 PM
5 Playa del Carmen, Mexico 8:00 AM 6:00 PM
6 Cozumel, Mexico 7:00 AM 5:00 PM
7 At Sea
8 Galveston, Texas 7:00 AM

Drinking these:


Don't look at me like that. I've earned it.