The Secret about Getting Things Done

My mom told me to watch this movie, and I was like, Mom, you always point me to these hippy dippy new age films and I really don't like them and then we're forced into this "you just don't understand me" dialogue when really I'd rather just be watching a Stephen Sondheim musical with you, because that's pretty weird, too, right? But we both love them so I don't care.

The Secret is about the power of positive thinking, and how you have to visualize yourself possessing everything you want SO MUCH SO that you truly believe you have already achieved this goal. Say, for example, you want a schmancy sports car (one that your rotten thieving neighbors won't break into... no, stop it Mary, stop it! Those thoughts are BAD): you have to sit in a chair, and pretend like you are driving the car and make vrooom vroom noises and BE the sportscar (like that song in A Chorus Line; can we go watch A Chorus Line, Mom? Trust me, it'll be great) and eventually The Universe will pick up on these signals and viola: car.

And the thing is: I do believe it. I really do. I think if you go around acting like you are driving your sports car for long enough, somehow you will acquire that car. Or whatever it is you want. I do believe in some sort of interconnected magnetic field created by human thought that affects, and responds to, our physical, emotional, and spiritual surroundings.

HOWEVER. I also believe that in order to get what we want through this method, The Universe requires us to spend a large amount of our time driving invisible cars and looking ridiculous. I am not willing to spend the majority of my life looking ridiculous, no matter what the cost.

That's MY secret. I also do ridiculous things all the time (inadvertently, even!), so what the Hell do I know.

I'm being too hard on my mother. She's actually a very inspiring, kind, intelligent woman and The Universe had better be nice to her or we are going to have words.

Case in point: I recently sparked an interest in this book Getting Things Done, which I spotted on my boss's bookshelf. I have not, lately, been Getting Things Done, so you can see how this book would appeal to me. I have been Getting Things Started and Doing It Halfassed, but neither typically brings much satisfaction.

Getting Things Done is this organizational system designed to free your physical and mental in-box so that you can focus on the task at hand without worrying that other things will fall by the wayside. In a nutshell, start here: take every single piece of paper on your desk and stick it your inbox. If there are tasks that are not written down, write them on a sticky note and put it, too, in the inbox. When all things are clear, sort through the pile--take action on anything that takes less than 5 minutes, file the things that require no action, and assign an actionable next-step to everything else. Then, maintain.

This is overly-simplified, but that's the jist. Simple, right? The thing is, I learned this when I was like, 8, and didn't want to clean my room. My mom taught me to make my bed, and then put everything on my floor on the bed. Vacuum, and then put everything in a place that makes sense. (No, not the closet--that's cheating.) Getting Things Done back then was Don't Make Me Ask You Again Or I'll Give It All To Goodwill, and it worked.

The thing is--this whole Secret theory reminds me of a Joel Osteem sermon I read about a cruise ship. Guy saves up all year to go on a cruise, and because he has spent his entire savings on the trip, he can't afford to eat and so he brings his own suitcase full of crackers. Eventually, someone catches on and asks him why he's not joining them for dinner. "Because," he says, "I can't afford it." "Don't you see!" says the friend. "All of this is for you! This delicious food is provided for you!" Moral of the story (do you think you know the moral? Because I did. I thought it was a sermon against gluttony) is that GOD has provided you a feast on earth, yours for the taking!

That The Universe will respond to the energy created by human need, to compassion, to prayer: this I believe. That it is all for ME? That it can be TRAINED to my personal desires? No, thank you. Followers of Joel will tell me that I'm not getting it right, I don't understand--Jesus is all wrapped up in there--and they're right, I don't understand.

When I want religion I just want to sit quietly for a time. I don't want to spend energy thinking about things I want and pretending I already have them. In these times, I am hoping that The Universe will help me understand what I want and how I can be good to myself and others. And how to get it done.

This was long. Thanks for reading.