Dear Chris Bell,

Hello! My name is Mary. I'm your target demographic. We haven't met.

I'm a registered democrat, I'm educated, and I vote. According to some: all the time.

Here's the thing, Chris... I knew about Kinky Friedman from way back when, and I think he's hysterical. As much as I'd like to throw Texas government a big 'ole "Fried-U" and vote independent, I do care about things like schools and healthcare, and I'm not altogether confident that Mr. Friedman can govern and smoke a cigar at the same time. At this point I'm probably what the West Wing would classify as a "swing vote," or at the very least, somewhat undecided.

Why aren't you courting me? The lesbians are. They called and asked me to vote for Ellen Cohen and I was like, "Sure! Ellen's great. You all do a great job, keep it up."

So why do I keep seeing "Grandma" in the evening news and Kinky in the parades and I don't even know what you look like?

Get your act together, man. Or I'll be voting for the Jewish cowboy.

Love,
Mary