0.08

The best part about purchasing my Smart Home keychain breathalyzer is not the fact that it took a month before I realized that I was charged and it was never delivered. Nor was it the phone calls which made me realize that my purchase was potentially embarrassing ("Ma'am--for the third time--are you SURE you never received your, ahem, keychain breathalyzer?"), or trying to explain to my friends why I would spend $60 on such a device.

The BEST part was getting the catalogue full of fingerprint doorlocks, baby-sitter monitoring teddy bears with hidden cameras, toilet seats with remote-controlled bidets and other Jetsons-esque devices which led me to realize these Smart Home employees deal with people way sketchier than I.

After a second-battle with the Fed-Ex people, my package is being delivered on Monday to my work address, where I will blow with pride.