Ms. Lesbow

(From an email I wrote earlier today... I'm waiting to be observed in my classroom for a potential job, but I've omitted names and organization details.)

I'm waiting to hear when this --- woman is going to observe me so that I can pack up my classroom. I feel I've developed a pretty thick skin in my three years here, but lately (and especially with the sub last week) there's been an epidemic of "Ms. D------ sucks" graffiti, and I'm getting sick of it. They wrote it on the walls. They wrote it on the Midsummer Night's Dream books. They crossed out "D------" on the bathroom bucket (yes we have a bathroom bucket) and wrote "Ms. Lesbow" instead. They wrote it on the personal white boards that I sometimes use for group work. They wrote it in the dictionaries and in the dust on my computer monitor. Just yesterday I was using the giant yellow pad to make posters displaying student work (in anticipation of this woman's observation for potential job) and sometime between the time I put it down and picked it back up again, some kid wrote "D------ SUCKS" on the top sheet.

Every time I find a new love letter, I chuckle and remark "cute" or "real creative, guys" to whoever might be observing me, but there's an exponentially expanding part of me that wants to stand up and scream I GET IT. I SUCK. YOU WIN. NOW LEAVE ME ALONE.

You know?

It's just not how I wanted to end my teaching experience.