The Old Man Who Saved Some Ungrateful People

The third installment from Children of Wax:

(I am not making this up.)

I know what you are thinking -- OH MAN this is a great book. The young people could learn something from this book!

Well, yes, the young people could probably learn something from this book. But mostly the rich and fat people could learn something from this story!

So a bunch of rich and fat people live in abundance in a town with bountiful grain and they are all happy. They think this is a great place to live, where their grain silo regularly overflows and they are fat and happy.

You know who else thinks this is a great place to live?

The birds! The birds think this is a great place for birds to live, and they build little bird condos in the trees and help themselves to grain from the silo.

The rich and fat people are not happy about their new bird neighbors, who are eating all the grain. They realize that if this situation continues, they will become poor and skinny. They attempt to get rid of the birds with arrows, but the arrows are either very slow or the birds are very clever, or both, and it does not work.

So the people think and think and think and eventually they realize that they are not very smart, and one poor sod is like "you know who would know what to do... that old man we ran out of town because of his witchery."

And a hush falls over the crowd, because everyone was thinking it but no one wanted to say it. But eventually they concur, yes, we need to go ask the old man for help, le sigh.

The leader of the rich and fat people travels not too far away, to a bush where the old man has been living and is very skinny and is eating leaves to stay alive. And he's like, heyyyyy... and the old man is like, piss off, and the leader begs him to return and help them deal with the pesky, crafty birds, and the old man finally gives in and gathers some magic arrow formula and returns to the village.

The next morning the birds are literally singing and strutting and taunting the rich and fat people and the old man tells the people to dip their arrows into his magic arrow formula, and viola--arrows now go into the birds. Any birds that don't immediately die make for the hills.

And the rich and happy people celebrate and make the old man their leader, and bring him cows and beer to his heart's delight, and he governs justly and all is good. UNTIL some nitwit is like, hey--did you see how that old man used magic to kill those birds? He could probably do the same thing to us. We should probably run him out of town.

And this sentiment spreads throughout the town until eventually the old man is, once again, run out of town (are you paying attention, Texas Board of Education, are you seeing how history repeats itself and why you should not monkey with the social studies curriculum?) and all the while the birds have been quietly watching and waiting for this moment, and what do you suppose happens once the old man is run out of town?

Alfred Hitchcock happens.

The four highest ranking men run after the old man, and beg him to return and help them again, and the old man looks carefully at his bush, with its scarcity of leaves and hard ground to sleep on, and its absence of stupid people, and he says: No.

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Ed. Note: I started rewriting this story in May of 2010, and never finished, but decided it is a story that deserves to be told, even though I couldn't find the life connect at the time. Not least because the title and the beginning of the story remind me of my dad, and I started retelling it for him-- so here you go Dad, a few months belated.

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And what lessons can we draw from the old man who saved the ungrateful people?

Well, first of all, I'm not sure I can't sympathize with the ungrateful people. It is good to be rich and fat. And, birds are super annoying. And, people who insist on using magic: weird. Also, grain, yum.

But, let's suppose the old man is a hard decision, but something that is good for you, and one that you keep making, time after time. And then you get attacked by birds. And sooner or later, you might be living on leaves. And you are stupid, you know this, but you run the old man out, and you try to remember what he taught you, and you try to shoot straight, and get rid of the birds. You might not be as rich or as fat, over time, but you'll be more wily, and God willing, you'll get smarter. You might wind up in a bush. This might take some time.

And let's say the old man is in the right--and it is hard to argue that he is not--let's say you are the only sane person in the village. You could show up again and again to argue your case. You could go insane in the arguing. Or you could learn to live in the beauty of the bush. You could learn to like leaves. You could make your own magic.