Pop Pop Pop Music

Uhhh... in the absence of "The Bachelor" I'm watching the Billboard Music Awards, and I'm having some difficulty figuring out the dress code.

+ the music is really horrible.

But, anyway.

What would you like to hear about?

My trip to the dentist?

Dr. Carol Alvarado (the dentist; not the city councilwoman) is very nice, and said many flattering things about my teeth, and spent at least 30 minutes examining them in detail, which is more than can be said for **the last dentist I visited.

She unfortunately falls into the multi-visit dental trend of "let's pump you full of X-rays today and clean you tomorrow," but given that she gave me an actual examination, I don't mind so much.

I have some seriously enviable teefs, yo. Thank you awkward adolescence, Dr. Cina, Mom and Dad.

Ok, you are sick of teeth.
Let's talk about Target!!!!

Dear Target,

I think you're swell.

I love your rotating line of international fashion in affordable, accessible styles.

I love your good-smelling, sexy-bottled cleaning products.

I think "wine in a cube" is really funny.

& you have the best Morningstar selection in town.

Do you remember 1997 when I worked at Wal-Mart and you lived next door, sort of an awkward little brother? I don't miss those days at all. I think, frankly, age has been good to both of us. You made friends with Isaac Mizrahi, I got a college education, and neither one of us wound up in a long-term relationship with Rob from Electronics. Yay!

I know you get lots of love, and here's some more.

Your friend (forever),
Mary


**Just look at that superfluous cleavage! Good citizens of Houston, don't let this man near your teeth.