Thursday, April 26, 2007
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Operation, Catnapz
Ok. ok ok ok. Okay.
Here we go, "exercising the cat."
Stage 1: Yarn
Next time I will try this with a cotton yarn, as the metallic bits made me a little nervous. This method of cat-er-cize is surprisingly versatile. I can make the yarn wiggle while lying on the couch, or I can go all-out and run/turn around the apartment with a yarn trail behind me. J says, "tell her to make me a scarf while she's down there." Constructed a "yarn maze" using chair and the scratching post (not pictured). Briefly considered tying cat to chair. Moving on...
Stage 2: Bag
The bag toy only worked if I lay on the ground and made little scratchy sounds on the outside. LOTS OF AMUSEMENT when cat uses the bag toy correctly and lunges at the scratchy sounds on the inside. Not so funny when she lunged at them from the outside. Plastic bags (not pictured, because they are annoying and she eats them) seem to fascinate her, but this here whole foods bag, not so much.
Stage 3: Dishes!
After five days of them sitting in the sink, I did the dishes. Insert something here about objects in motion. Also, mysterious stain. Cat did not help wash OR dry.
Stage 4: Catnip
www.bettercatownersthanyou.com says I should provide her with lots of blankets and soft toys. Which I do, but she wants to play with the plastic bags. So I dragged out this cat pillow (I swear to God, that is the intended purpose but its actual use is "dust collector") and covered it in catnip. She rolled around seductively for awhile and is now nesting happily and quietly--but awake. First sign of dozing off, we are going back to the yarn.
Updates to come.
I am thinking I need a laser pointer.
Or a large dog.
And, to never have children.
Here we go, "exercising the cat."
Stage 1: Yarn
Next time I will try this with a cotton yarn, as the metallic bits made me a little nervous. This method of cat-er-cize is surprisingly versatile. I can make the yarn wiggle while lying on the couch, or I can go all-out and run/turn around the apartment with a yarn trail behind me. J says, "tell her to make me a scarf while she's down there." Constructed a "yarn maze" using chair and the scratching post (not pictured). Briefly considered tying cat to chair. Moving on...
Stage 2: Bag
The bag toy only worked if I lay on the ground and made little scratchy sounds on the outside. LOTS OF AMUSEMENT when cat uses the bag toy correctly and lunges at the scratchy sounds on the inside. Not so funny when she lunged at them from the outside. Plastic bags (not pictured, because they are annoying and she eats them) seem to fascinate her, but this here whole foods bag, not so much.
Stage 3: Dishes!
After five days of them sitting in the sink, I did the dishes. Insert something here about objects in motion. Also, mysterious stain. Cat did not help wash OR dry.
Stage 4: Catnip
www.bettercatownersthanyou.com says I should provide her with lots of blankets and soft toys. Which I do, but she wants to play with the plastic bags. So I dragged out this cat pillow (I swear to God, that is the intended purpose but its actual use is "dust collector") and covered it in catnip. She rolled around seductively for awhile and is now nesting happily and quietly--but awake. First sign of dozing off, we are going back to the yarn.
Updates to come.
I am thinking I need a laser pointer.
Or a large dog.
And, to never have children.
Playing With The Cat... In Traffic
Ok, I really hate to be that girl who blogs about her cat, but here I am blogging about my cat, right?
The cat is completely nutzo. The cat--after four years--has decided that bedtime is the time to race around, play with things, and meow like crazy. It looks a lot like this. For 27 years, I have traditionally used bedtime to sleep. So, we have a problem.
Turns out this is not unusual at all. According to this blog article, "Who's Training Who?" the answer is to 1. accept the fact that she needs to climb and meow and scratch things and act crazy, and 2. re-train her to do these things in the evening and not at bedtime.
In other words, wear the bitch out.
Rather than letting your cat snooze all evening while you are watching Oprah or Jeopardy, turn off the tube, get down on the floor and play with your cat. Tie a feather or piece of crumpled paper to a length of string and run around the house dragging it behind. Train your cat to climb his scratching post; train him to fetch and run back and forth between you and a friend. Visit your local pet store and look for new and interesting toys for your cat. Make toys of your own. Most cats have a wonderful time rolling around inside a large, open paper bag or box sprinkled with catnip. The "Cat Dancer" toy is also extremely appealing to most cats. Try to tire out your cat early in the evening. This will greatly increase the likelihood that he will sleep at night.
Are you KIDDING ME??? I work all day, and then I come home and I am supposed to EXERCISE MY CAT?
This frequently happens with lonely, bored cats that have an excess of energy and no where for that energy to go. They cannot chase real mice and birds, or climb real trees, so they develop other habits to entertain themselves.
So, like, who's gonna come over and exercise me?
The cat is completely nutzo. The cat--after four years--has decided that bedtime is the time to race around, play with things, and meow like crazy. It looks a lot like this. For 27 years, I have traditionally used bedtime to sleep. So, we have a problem.
Turns out this is not unusual at all. According to this blog article, "Who's Training Who?" the answer is to 1. accept the fact that she needs to climb and meow and scratch things and act crazy, and 2. re-train her to do these things in the evening and not at bedtime.
In other words, wear the bitch out.
Rather than letting your cat snooze all evening while you are watching Oprah or Jeopardy, turn off the tube, get down on the floor and play with your cat. Tie a feather or piece of crumpled paper to a length of string and run around the house dragging it behind. Train your cat to climb his scratching post; train him to fetch and run back and forth between you and a friend. Visit your local pet store and look for new and interesting toys for your cat. Make toys of your own. Most cats have a wonderful time rolling around inside a large, open paper bag or box sprinkled with catnip. The "Cat Dancer" toy is also extremely appealing to most cats. Try to tire out your cat early in the evening. This will greatly increase the likelihood that he will sleep at night.
Are you KIDDING ME??? I work all day, and then I come home and I am supposed to EXERCISE MY CAT?
This frequently happens with lonely, bored cats that have an excess of energy and no where for that energy to go. They cannot chase real mice and birds, or climb real trees, so they develop other habits to entertain themselves.
So, like, who's gonna come over and exercise me?
Monday, April 23, 2007
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Second in a Series (2/2)
While we're talking youtube, I have to link to some genius Square One videos that Beau unearthed on facebook. (I am on facebook now! I have so many friends. You can search for me.)
Fraction Rap
Wanna Be (by Bobby McFerrin)
Angle Dance
That show was so good. Lordy, why wasn't this stuff around when I was taking Calculus?
Oh, it was?
Intro to Bikini Calculus
(claims to be NSFW, but it's nothing you wouldn't see on any beachfront)
Never mind.
Fraction Rap
Wanna Be (by Bobby McFerrin)
Angle Dance
That show was so good. Lordy, why wasn't this stuff around when I was taking Calculus?
Oh, it was?
Intro to Bikini Calculus
(claims to be NSFW, but it's nothing you wouldn't see on any beachfront)
Never mind.
"Nobody has been shot holding a Nutrageous"
My co-worker was telling us about this Michael Moore video, aimed at New York City police officers who shot a black man because his black wallet "looked like a gun."
African American Wallet Exchange Program
Let me be clear, I am a liberal but I am NOT a Michael Moore fan: I find his views extremist, his explanations oversimplified, and his tactics tacky. I've been pissed ever since he made that poor mother cry on screen for 15 minutes in Fahrenheit 9/11.
But, this video is funny.
African American Wallet Exchange Program
Let me be clear, I am a liberal but I am NOT a Michael Moore fan: I find his views extremist, his explanations oversimplified, and his tactics tacky. I've been pissed ever since he made that poor mother cry on screen for 15 minutes in Fahrenheit 9/11.
But, this video is funny.
Friday, April 20, 2007
hey wuz up? nm. just drillin. c u soon!
Mary,We are making it more convenient for you to communicate with our practice!
We will now be sending appointment reminders via email, text messages to your cell phone, pager, or PDA. Please provide us with your current information and have one less phone call to answer!
When you receive a message by e-mail, click the icon provided for confirmation. Confirm as soon as you receive the first message, and you're done! The other messages will simply be reminders.
We look forward to meeting all of your dental needs!
Dr. Carol
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Gone Completely Out of the Loop Crazy
Ladies and Gentlemen, a Target story:
Seeing as how this is my first weekend without people around me in a month, it was a challenge to get myself off the couch and out the door, to Target, to buy "some stuff." (This was my mindset going into it; the goal really was to get out of the house.)
And so, in a sort of rotten mood as a result of cat-gone-crazy-howling-all-night, I put some stuff in a basket and hit the checkout line. The first line I tried closed down right before me. The second line was held up by some cash register issue. I'm looking at my other options, when my cashier says, "Don't you be looking around, I'll be done in just a minute." I could have taken offense, but it was said with such charm and so disarmingly that I just chuckled, cheered the eff up, and waited my turn.
We chatted about whether or not I was having a baby (I'm not) because I purchased a maternity top (I did--it's cute!), and my bill came to $95--which seems a lot for "some stuff," and I thought as much at the time, but didn't look at my receipt until I got home.
Before that, though, I stopped by the Salvation Army and TOTALLY SCORED! I bought two cashmere cardigans and a cute handknit top for $20.
And I mention the thrift store because it was in this mindset that I looked at my receipt, saw an item marked "Target PREM" for $16.38, and couldn't figure out what the heck it was. I look in my bags; still no luck.
So here is where the crazy starts.
I call the store, tell them I've been charged for an item I didn't purchase, and I don't know what it is, and they tell me to come back and they'll fix it.
At the store, a bitchy customer service rep listens to my story, says NOT ONE WORD, calls a security looking fellow and gives him my receipt. He goes off with it for probably 10 minutes.
He comes back, tells me I have to return the item in order to get a refund. I explain again that I don't have it, and he says he knows it went into the bag because HE SAW IT ON CAMERA. I'm flabbergasted. I ask him what it was, and he tells me it was some hair product--"like a perm solution?" I tell him listen mister, there is absolutely no way a box of home perm solution went into my bag, and I march over to try to find my sassy cashier. She's not there, but her friends are, and they ask if they can help. They mediate for a minute between me (the crazy lady) and the security man (whom I am about to throttle), and while this is happening one of them thinks to enter the item number into the computer to see what the item is.
"It's not 'perm,' it's Target Premium. Um, whitening strips? Teeth whitening strips?" she asks me.
"Oh.
Right.
I bought those.
I have those.
Ok.
Sorry!
Thanks.
Bye."
And while I am not denying for one minute my complete and sole personal resposibility for this debaucle, would it not have been easier to look up the item number over the phone? Which is really sort of what I wanted?
Lessons learned:
1. Do not let Mary go shopping alone.
2. Do not wear a red shirt on a Target shopping expedition.
3. Check your receipt before you leave the store.
ed. And what I learned is, sometimes you are the only one responsible for the ridiculous things that happen to you. It's ok; you're still a worthwhile person.
I'm going to stay in the rest of the weekend with my teeth whitening strips. Let's hope Monday brings a reason or two to smile.
Seeing as how this is my first weekend without people around me in a month, it was a challenge to get myself off the couch and out the door, to Target, to buy "some stuff." (This was my mindset going into it; the goal really was to get out of the house.)
And so, in a sort of rotten mood as a result of cat-gone-crazy-howling-all-night, I put some stuff in a basket and hit the checkout line. The first line I tried closed down right before me. The second line was held up by some cash register issue. I'm looking at my other options, when my cashier says, "Don't you be looking around, I'll be done in just a minute." I could have taken offense, but it was said with such charm and so disarmingly that I just chuckled, cheered the eff up, and waited my turn.
We chatted about whether or not I was having a baby (I'm not) because I purchased a maternity top (I did--it's cute!), and my bill came to $95--which seems a lot for "some stuff," and I thought as much at the time, but didn't look at my receipt until I got home.
Before that, though, I stopped by the Salvation Army and TOTALLY SCORED! I bought two cashmere cardigans and a cute handknit top for $20.
And I mention the thrift store because it was in this mindset that I looked at my receipt, saw an item marked "Target PREM" for $16.38, and couldn't figure out what the heck it was. I look in my bags; still no luck.
So here is where the crazy starts.
I call the store, tell them I've been charged for an item I didn't purchase, and I don't know what it is, and they tell me to come back and they'll fix it.
At the store, a bitchy customer service rep listens to my story, says NOT ONE WORD, calls a security looking fellow and gives him my receipt. He goes off with it for probably 10 minutes.
He comes back, tells me I have to return the item in order to get a refund. I explain again that I don't have it, and he says he knows it went into the bag because HE SAW IT ON CAMERA. I'm flabbergasted. I ask him what it was, and he tells me it was some hair product--"like a perm solution?" I tell him listen mister, there is absolutely no way a box of home perm solution went into my bag, and I march over to try to find my sassy cashier. She's not there, but her friends are, and they ask if they can help. They mediate for a minute between me (the crazy lady) and the security man (whom I am about to throttle), and while this is happening one of them thinks to enter the item number into the computer to see what the item is.
"It's not 'perm,' it's Target Premium. Um, whitening strips? Teeth whitening strips?" she asks me.
"Oh.
Right.
I bought those.
I have those.
Ok.
Sorry!
Thanks.
Bye."
Lessons learned:
1. Do not let Mary go shopping alone.
2. Do not wear a red shirt on a Target shopping expedition.
3. Check your receipt before you leave the store.
I'm going to stay in the rest of the weekend with my teeth whitening strips. Let's hope Monday brings a reason or two to smile.
Friday, April 06, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
We Live With Disappointments...
...By celebrating the possibilities to come.
I'm staying between a hotel in another town & my boyfriend's house & a rental car. Am feeling a bit untethered.
Leave a grounding message, please.
p.s. I am sitting at Jason's desk, using his internet cord and he's on the other side on his laptop. He just poured me tea out of a measuring glass. If the cat were here, it would be perfect. Please, someone tell me what this job is and how I get it.
I'm staying between a hotel in another town & my boyfriend's house & a rental car. Am feeling a bit untethered.
Leave a grounding message, please.
p.s. I am sitting at Jason's desk, using his internet cord and he's on the other side on his laptop. He just poured me tea out of a measuring glass. If the cat were here, it would be perfect. Please, someone tell me what this job is and how I get it.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Y'all!
Look where I am staying in Dallas:
Before you get any crazy ideas that my non-profit pimps out all our business trips, let me first explain that 1. I am sharing a room with a co-worker, and 2. somehow this ocassionally happens due to the miracle of Priceline.
Nevertheless, I am bringing an extra bag to abscond with all the Kiehl's. That's right. All your hand lotion is belong to MEEEE.
Before you get any crazy ideas that my non-profit pimps out all our business trips, let me first explain that 1. I am sharing a room with a co-worker, and 2. somehow this ocassionally happens due to the miracle of Priceline.
Nevertheless, I am bringing an extra bag to abscond with all the Kiehl's. That's right. All your hand lotion is belong to MEEEE.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Get More Music, For Less
I've recently become an iTunes connoisseur of cheap music compilations, and I would like to share them with you. If you use iTunes, you can search for these titles. If you know of any not listed here, I would appreciate you sharing them with me. In my experience, the good music on these albums are well worth the price you pay for the rest (which may or may not be your cup of tea, and any way you'll learn something new). I think of it as money I would put in a jukebox to hear a song once, except you get to keep it. Enjoy.
1. Indoor Picnic Music volumes 1 (16 songs) and 2 (17 songs): $3.99 each
Highlights include...
Volume 1:
Josh Krouse - It Looks Like Love
Jars of Clay - Dead Man Carry Me
Griffin House - The Guy That Says Goodbye To You
Volume 2:
Erin McKeown - Sing You Sinners
maybe others? (no stand outs, but altogether solid)
2. Penny Candy (15 songs) $3.99
The Weepies - World Spins Madly On
[Two repeats from Indoor Picnic Music, rest solid]
3. Credential Recordings Sampler, 10 songs, $0.99
Edison Glass, Future of Forestry, Turn Off the Stars, Dizmas, Lost Ocean
4. Catch Up With... Domino Recording Co., 15 songs, $3.99
Psapp - Hi
Caribou - Dundas, Ontario
5. ReDirection: A Polyvinyl Sampler, 19 songs $5.94
Rainer Maria, Matt Pond PA, Hey Mercedes, AM/FM, Braid, Pele
6. Mile: A Hush Compilation, 50 songs (yes! 50!), $9.99
The Decemberists, Jeff London, Graves, Blanket Music, & lots others
And some people seem to like...
7. Attic Jam, 19 songs, $9.99
The Kooks, Death Cab, Pete Townshend, The Flaming Lips, Rachel Fuller, Martha Wainwright
8. This is What Music Should Sound Like, 12 songs, $5.99
Really? Says who?
But I say NO DEAL.
Weird enough to shell out 10 bucks?
9. The Unaccompanied Voice: An A Capella Compilation, 24 songs, $9.99
Jandek, Modest Mouse, Nikki McClure (really?), Pedro the Lion, Songs: Ohia
Given my background, I should totally be digging this. But, I dunno.
Wantsssss it. But, esssspensive.
10. Old Enough To Know Better (15 years of Merge Records), 61 songs, $35.99
Magnetic Fields, Richard Buckner, Spoon, Camera Obscura, ...And You Will Know Us By the Train of Our Dead, The Buzzocks, Polvo, Neutral Milk Hotel, Crooked Fingers, The Essex Green
Last but not least,
10. FREE on iTunes
Check the front page regularly for three free song downloads a week. Can't argue for the price.
Yours in music downloading,
Mary
1. Indoor Picnic Music volumes 1 (16 songs) and 2 (17 songs): $3.99 each
Highlights include...
Volume 1:
Josh Krouse - It Looks Like Love
Jars of Clay - Dead Man Carry Me
Griffin House - The Guy That Says Goodbye To You
Volume 2:
Erin McKeown - Sing You Sinners
maybe others? (no stand outs, but altogether solid)
2. Penny Candy (15 songs) $3.99
The Weepies - World Spins Madly On
[Two repeats from Indoor Picnic Music, rest solid]
3. Credential Recordings Sampler, 10 songs, $0.99
Edison Glass, Future of Forestry, Turn Off the Stars, Dizmas, Lost Ocean
4. Catch Up With... Domino Recording Co., 15 songs, $3.99
Psapp - Hi
Caribou - Dundas, Ontario
5. ReDirection: A Polyvinyl Sampler, 19 songs $5.94
Rainer Maria, Matt Pond PA, Hey Mercedes, AM/FM, Braid, Pele
6. Mile: A Hush Compilation, 50 songs (yes! 50!), $9.99
The Decemberists, Jeff London, Graves, Blanket Music, & lots others
And some people seem to like...
7. Attic Jam, 19 songs, $9.99
The Kooks, Death Cab, Pete Townshend, The Flaming Lips, Rachel Fuller, Martha Wainwright
8. This is What Music Should Sound Like, 12 songs, $5.99
Really? Says who?
But I say NO DEAL.
Weird enough to shell out 10 bucks?
9. The Unaccompanied Voice: An A Capella Compilation, 24 songs, $9.99
Jandek, Modest Mouse, Nikki McClure (really?), Pedro the Lion, Songs: Ohia
Given my background, I should totally be digging this. But, I dunno.
Wantsssss it. But, esssspensive.
10. Old Enough To Know Better (15 years of Merge Records), 61 songs, $35.99
Magnetic Fields, Richard Buckner, Spoon, Camera Obscura, ...And You Will Know Us By the Train of Our Dead, The Buzzocks, Polvo, Neutral Milk Hotel, Crooked Fingers, The Essex Green
Last but not least,
10. FREE on iTunes
Check the front page regularly for three free song downloads a week. Can't argue for the price.
Yours in music downloading,
Mary
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Cat Pictures
Lordy, I take a lot of cat pictures.
I had to make an entire flickr photo set of them.
But look!
How cute is she!
Some people have certain opinions about people who take lots of pictures of their cat(s). To those people, I say, whatevs.
I had to make an entire flickr photo set of them.
But look!
How cute is she!
Some people have certain opinions about people who take lots of pictures of their cat(s). To those people, I say, whatevs.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Stuck At Work
I think I might blog everyday this week.
We had some afternoon showers and the roads leading out of my building are all floody. Luckily I can see this shizz from my window now before I get in my car and stuck behind some pissed-off rush hour drivers.
So, here I stay.
An update on my car situation--the car is expected to be ready in Dallas on March 31. This weekend, I heard from the selection folks re: my upcoming "tour" (this is what we call the trips people make to go do in-person interviews). I had requested to stay in Houston, but unfortunately there are no interviews in Houston that particular week. My options, as presented to me for the week preceding March 31, were: 1. Dallas; 2. Ohio. I quickly called back and told them "DALLAS, DALLAS! Please don't send me to Ohio" and now we cross our fingers that the timing will work out perfectly.
The best part? I get to see my beau two weekends in a row without having to drive back and forth between them. Super sweet.
Unless I drown their rental car first.
I have a sort of crazy appointment tomorrow on which I will remain mum. Here is me being mum. Mum is the word.
And, I'm not going to say anything about that, either.
Or that.
This is productive, right?
We had some afternoon showers and the roads leading out of my building are all floody. Luckily I can see this shizz from my window now before I get in my car and stuck behind some pissed-off rush hour drivers.
So, here I stay.
An update on my car situation--the car is expected to be ready in Dallas on March 31. This weekend, I heard from the selection folks re: my upcoming "tour" (this is what we call the trips people make to go do in-person interviews). I had requested to stay in Houston, but unfortunately there are no interviews in Houston that particular week. My options, as presented to me for the week preceding March 31, were: 1. Dallas; 2. Ohio. I quickly called back and told them "DALLAS, DALLAS! Please don't send me to Ohio" and now we cross our fingers that the timing will work out perfectly.
The best part? I get to see my beau two weekends in a row without having to drive back and forth between them. Super sweet.
Unless I drown their rental car first.
I have a sort of crazy appointment tomorrow on which I will remain mum. Here is me being mum. Mum is the word.
And, I'm not going to say anything about that, either.
Or that.
This is productive, right?
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