Teamwork

Jason: every organization needs one of these.

me: fights.
"jason isn't peddling as hard as i am peddling"

Jason: "so what."

me: "i'm sick of pulling y'alls weight around here"

Jason: "mary is steering us in the wrong direction."

me: HAHAHAHA

We Live With Disappointments...

...By celebrating the possibilities to come.

I'm staying between a hotel in another town & my boyfriend's house & a rental car. Am feeling a bit untethered.

Leave a grounding message, please.

p.s. I am sitting at Jason's desk, using his internet cord and he's on the other side on his laptop. He just poured me tea out of a measuring glass. If the cat were here, it would be perfect. Please, someone tell me what this job is and how I get it.

Y'all!

Look where I am staying in Dallas:




Before you get any crazy ideas that my non-profit pimps out all our business trips, let me first explain that 1. I am sharing a room with a co-worker, and 2. somehow this ocassionally happens due to the miracle of Priceline.

Nevertheless, I am bringing an extra bag to abscond with all the Kiehl's. That's right. All your hand lotion is belong to MEEEE.

Get More Music, For Less

I've recently become an iTunes connoisseur of cheap music compilations, and I would like to share them with you. If you use iTunes, you can search for these titles. If you know of any not listed here, I would appreciate you sharing them with me. In my experience, the good music on these albums are well worth the price you pay for the rest (which may or may not be your cup of tea, and any way you'll learn something new). I think of it as money I would put in a jukebox to hear a song once, except you get to keep it. Enjoy.

1. Indoor Picnic Music volumes 1 (16 songs) and 2 (17 songs): $3.99 each
Highlights include...
Volume 1:
Josh Krouse - It Looks Like Love
Jars of Clay - Dead Man Carry Me
Griffin House - The Guy That Says Goodbye To You
Volume 2:
Erin McKeown - Sing You Sinners
maybe others? (no stand outs, but altogether solid)

2. Penny Candy (15 songs) $3.99
The Weepies - World Spins Madly On
[Two repeats from Indoor Picnic Music, rest solid]

3. Credential Recordings Sampler, 10 songs, $0.99
Edison Glass, Future of Forestry, Turn Off the Stars, Dizmas, Lost Ocean

4. Catch Up With... Domino Recording Co., 15 songs, $3.99
Psapp - Hi
Caribou - Dundas, Ontario

5. ReDirection: A Polyvinyl Sampler, 19 songs $5.94
Rainer Maria, Matt Pond PA, Hey Mercedes, AM/FM, Braid, Pele

6. Mile: A Hush Compilation, 50 songs (yes! 50!), $9.99
The Decemberists, Jeff London, Graves, Blanket Music, & lots others

And some people seem to like...
7. Attic Jam, 19 songs, $9.99
The Kooks, Death Cab, Pete Townshend, The Flaming Lips, Rachel Fuller, Martha Wainwright

8. This is What Music Should Sound Like, 12 songs, $5.99
Really? Says who?

But I say NO DEAL.

Weird enough to shell out 10 bucks?
9. The Unaccompanied Voice: An A Capella Compilation, 24 songs, $9.99
Jandek, Modest Mouse, Nikki McClure (really?), Pedro the Lion, Songs: Ohia
Given my background, I should totally be digging this. But, I dunno.

Wantsssss it. But, esssspensive.
10. Old Enough To Know Better (15 years of Merge Records), 61 songs, $35.99
Magnetic Fields, Richard Buckner, Spoon, Camera Obscura, ...And You Will Know Us By the Train of Our Dead, The Buzzocks, Polvo, Neutral Milk Hotel, Crooked Fingers, The Essex Green

Last but not least,
10. FREE on iTunes
Check the front page regularly for three free song downloads a week. Can't argue for the price.

Yours in music downloading,
Mary

Cat Pictures

Lordy, I take a lot of cat pictures.

I had to make an entire flickr photo set of them.

But look!
How cute is she!


Some people have certain opinions about people who take lots of pictures of their cat(s). To those people, I say, whatevs.

Stuck At Work

I think I might blog everyday this week.

We had some afternoon showers and the roads leading out of my building are all floody. Luckily I can see this shizz from my window now before I get in my car and stuck behind some pissed-off rush hour drivers.

So, here I stay.

An update on my car situation--the car is expected to be ready in Dallas on March 31. This weekend, I heard from the selection folks re: my upcoming "tour" (this is what we call the trips people make to go do in-person interviews). I had requested to stay in Houston, but unfortunately there are no interviews in Houston that particular week. My options, as presented to me for the week preceding March 31, were: 1. Dallas; 2. Ohio. I quickly called back and told them "DALLAS, DALLAS! Please don't send me to Ohio" and now we cross our fingers that the timing will work out perfectly.

The best part? I get to see my beau two weekends in a row without having to drive back and forth between them. Super sweet.

Unless I drown their rental car first.

I have a sort of crazy appointment tomorrow on which I will remain mum. Here is me being mum. Mum is the word.

And, I'm not going to say anything about that, either.
Or that.

This is productive, right?

Are You Smarter Than... The Lottery?

The Washington Post just covered the sermon I've been singing for days, blasting Fox's new game show "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader" as the ultimate demise of television game shows, as begun by "Millionaire" not so long ago, and supported by that stupid briefcase game.

Paul Fahri asks, "Have TV quiz-show questions become dumber, and have the shows' rules grown wimpier, as producers pander to ever-lower audience expectations and the viewing public's general intellectual flabbiness?"

What. Yes, I watched it. YES, I knew most of the answers...

The thing is, and I think the Washington Post hits on this, the thing IS... historically game shows are about speed as well as intellect. Jeopardy whips through questions like penny candy. "Are you smarter than..." covered four questions in 40 minutes. That's an average of 10 minutes per question! By the time you hit that mark, you are well outside of the "game show" genre and into the "reality television" genre.

In the reality television game show, we don't really care if he knows the answer. Those type of questions don't require skill; at a certain point, they just require luck. It's like the lotto. Sure, we want him to win. But we're more interested in watching him writhe around trying to figure out what to do than finding out the answer to the question. (Does anyone ever remember the winning lotto ticket number? Nope, but we might remember who won.)

On the other hand, I'll occasionally remark to a friend, "Hey I heard this question on Jeopardy and I thought of you..." but I certainly wouldn't remember who was playing at the time. The reason I would think of one specific person would be due to the specificity of the question: a question about Les Mis, and my friend Heather who loves the story, for example. Reality television game shows would not generally showcase questions to that degree of detail, because there'd be no "oh oooooh oh it's on the tip of my tongue..." suspense involved.

It's interesting, right?
I mean, I'll take Jeopardy, but it's interesting.

Wizard Academy

Her name is Dulcinea, her kingdom, Toboso, which is in La Mancha, her condition must be that of princess, at the very least, for she is my queen and lady, and her beauty is supernatural, for in it one finds the reality of all the impossible.

Hey Austin folks, did you all know about this Wizard Academy place?
Did you know about the FREE wedding pavilion?

I imagine that when it rains, it pours, but when it's a beautiful day outside--like, wow.



Besides, it's hard to argue with FREE!

Bumper Cars

Look what happened to my car!



I was taking my bags out to my car early Monday morning at J's house (this is my monthly "get up at 5am and drive four hours back to Houston" ritual) only to discover that someone had plowed into my street-parked car during the night.

Nothing ruins a goodbye between two people in love like, "Holy SH-T! Look what your crazy-ass drunk/high/acid-tripping neighbors did to my BAYBEEE! Move to Houston IMMEDIATELY!" Except I didn't say that. But I thought it.

At the rental car center, the attendent asked me what happened to my car. I told him. "So, is it totalled?" he asked. "I don't think so," I answered, "and we're not using that word."

"What kind of car was it?" He then asked.

Look buddy, I hear your past tense and I do not. appreciate. it.

Here is where I would normally delve into "it could have been worse..." but I'm not going to today. (Do you hear that, potential business schools? Do you hear my ability to grasp the complexity of a situation?) My CAR! My poor, adorable, battered car!

Maybe I'm Just Feeling Sentimental...

...but Ellen and the whole "we're celebrating YOU for being nominated!!!" thing is really working for me tonight.

She's so damn cute, and the montage thing was super sweet.

First, People Magazine named ME (and all of you) the person of the year.
Then, I am told that I am the machine (and you, too).
Now the Oscars are taking this "you are ALL great" stance.

It sort of makes you wonder why everyone is going out of their way to boost our self confidence this year. YOU are great. You, too! Why, exactly? What favor are you about to ask me to do...?

Snow Day? What?

Yo, east coast, someone get out there with a hairdrier and blowdry me a path, 'cause, Continental willing, I'm comin' to visit y'all...

I spent all day interviewing terrific candidates for this organization I work for. I hope they all become teachers, even the ones who don't meet the rubric.

Also, I did it on the 72nd floor of a downtown building. On the elevator ride up, I determined that I will never work on the 72nd floor of anywhere. One brief glance out the window (and then a whole day spent avoiding windows) cemented this decision.

Going back to my car, we took the underground railroad/mall path, which is a tiny tunnel maze overwhich cars pass; if it's not one phobia, it's another.

I have to go call my valentine. I love him!

Yours,

Slow

Ok, book monthers, here is the deal.

I'm not ready to write a book right now.

Wait, let me explain.

My mother has two stories she ever tells about me, and they are as follows: 1. is a poem I wrote for her in high school (not a story, I guess, but she reads it to strangers at an embarrassing frequency); 2. is something about when I was five and shy and all the other kids were playing on the playground, but I wouldn't go play with them until I felt good and ready.

She claims this behavior is indicative of a bigger personality trend that embraces Mr. Roger's mantra: "I like to take my time I mean I mean that when I want to do a thing I like to take my time to do it right!

I mean I might just make mistakes
If I should have to hurry up and
So I like to take my time
To tie my shoes, to eat, to get dressed,
To go to sleep at night to sing a song for you
And every thing I do."

I used to critize myself ruthlessly for "dragging my feet" about things (why I taught a third year when all my friends were moving on to other things, why I'm not in grad school yet, why it's taken 27+ years to nourish a lasting relationship, why I haven't moved out of Houston).

'Cause, dudes, I am taking my time. Whether it's writing a book or furthering my college education, I will do it when I'm good. and. ready.

I'm not ready to write a book right now, but I might be later. Oh man, it's gonna be a best-seller.

BOOK MONTH SAYS SELF SCRUTINY IS STOOOOOOOOOOOOOPID.

I hope you keep going, if it's something you want to do. I got about 2,000 words out, and maybe 20 of those are quality. It's a good start.

Book Month Tips and Tricks

Or, how to make it work.

If you're aiming for 30,000 words this February, you should be writing approximately 1071 words per day. Of course you can load up on the weekends, and if--like me--your computer lacks a word count device, there are a couple of handy internet ones.

Whalah!

(This java script is also available at the bottom of this blog until February 28.)

Another important component to any project of this magnitude is BACKUP. (As I discovered last night, having a laptop that likes to randomly overheat and turn itself off.)

Lana found writeboard.com, which allows you save your work online and password-protect it so that you can share with your friends, if you're into that sort of thing. This saved me 1,700 words last night. Also, you can access it from any computer--work or home--so you don't have to lug around a file.

Lastly, inspiration. I don't have a whole lot of advice on this one, except to tell you to write what you know, and if, in the process, you bump into something that you don't know: make it up.

Here is an imagination prompt if you really get stuck.

Happy noveling,

What is FruCaFebBoMo?

National Novel Writing Month Fruitcake February Book Month is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing November February 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) 30,000 word (or less) novel by midnight, November 30 February 28.

Valuing enthusiasm and perseverance over painstaking craft, NaNoWriMo FruCaFebBoMo is a novel book-writing program for everyone who has thought fleetingly about writing a novel but has been scared away by the time and effort involved.

Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo FruCaFebBoMo is output. It's all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.

Make no mistake: You will be writing a lot of crap. And that's a good thing. By forcing yourself to write so intensely, you are giving yourself permission to make mistakes. To forgo the endless tweaking and editing and just create. To build without tearing down.

As you spend November February writing, you can draw comfort from the fact that, all around the world internets, other National Novel Writing Month participants are going through the same joys and sorrows of producing the Great Frantic Novel Book. Wrimos meet throughout the month to offer encouragement, commiseration, and -- when the thing is done -- the kind of raucous celebrations that tend to frighten animals and small children can all get together for a root beer, the next time they're in the same state together.

[Borrowed heavily/plagerized from the National Novel Writing Month, which is a great organization that unfortunately takes place only in November.]

...

Ok, enough of that. You've heard from the Big Bad Book Month demons, and you are not afraid. You want to write a book because it is your story and you are the only one who can write it. You are doing this because you will not become a housepet, you will NOT. There are no rewards except a sense of satisfaction and a big 'ole book. If you haven't committed already, and even if you have, leave a lil note in the comments.

Love from, your unreliable narrator.

IT BEGINS

BOOK MONTH IS UPON YOU!

Book Month does not care how long you worked today; BM demands words.

BM is irreverent to birthdays, holidays, three day weekends, and months with only 28 days.

BM does not want to hear your sissy excuses. BM says GET FAT LAZY BRAIN OFF OF DVD AND TAKE FOR WALK.

BM feeds on twisty plots, characters, and risey action. BM laughs at your stupid poetry. BM will kick short story all over writer's block.

BM cares not for details. BM says small fruity girl figure out details. BM says RAAAAHRHHRHRRR.